I hate when people say “which one is the girl?” or “are you the girl or guy?”
NOBODY is the girl both are men that is why we are gay.
I know when people say “girl” they mean “which one takes it up the ass?”
you could just say “which is passive?” or “do you catch or pitch??” or “which is top or bottom?”
BTW most gay men fuck and get fucked. Some don’t, some are just bottoms or tops. BUT ALL ARE MEN.